Yesterday, All we wanted was peace and solace Just fantasizing about becoming rich by copying our role models Not by comparing others’ lives to ours When games meant Ring-a-Ring o’ Roses Or kho kho ? All we wanted was to procrastinate sleep hours for a little bit more of the television Staying active meant playing and frolicking And not just social media Sunshine of happiness wrapped us from everywhere Yesterday, we all wanted to grow up….
Today, Our confused little heads are making decisions by predictions of someone else It’s the time when games mean manipulating minds to hurt the innocent souls Yeah we’re enjoying to our heart’s content yet are dissatisfied Making new friends and losing the ones we count on Our priority is just the appraisal and critics We want silence yet are running to keep up the pace, competing with all Faking happiness on the social media Today, we all want to retire from the work we are entrusted with….
Tomorrow, All we would do is watch ourselves grow up once again By watching the tiny tinkling eyes sparkle with joy and their boisterous bodies hopping in front of us Antakshari would be the mind games and the chit chat would be our work We’d sit every night introspecting Feeling glad to have been gone through the thick and thin of life Some would regret the negative deeds While some would still have that spirit of youth oozing out and would travel Tomorrow, we would want ourselves to be children again….
~ From my skeptical thoughts To your confused head:-)
The best days of my life were taken away when the spirits took you away
It was 21st February, 2017. Getting a four legged furry animal in my little house had been one of my biggest dreams . Oh how memorable was that moment when my eyes got to meet that sensitive, chubby and active kid running on his little legs all around the house! Dog — A creature more loyal than any human friend, loves you more than it preaches and follows self love, adores you for who you are and most importantly is selfless and always ready to sacrifice its life at hazardous situations. Yes , a story I haven’t told many is about that selfless being whose love for me was the purest.
I remember how much my dad and i had to convince my mom just to get one dog an entrance inside our cosy shelter. Three years of convincing and searching for that one dog finally ended in the year 2017 when we got a labrador. Born and brought up among a family where I have no siblings or cousins to play with had made the walls of my house suffocating and dull . It was that small pup who filled my heart with joy. I didn’t have a dog but a baby brother, a best friend who loved me more than I’d ever know . I named it ‘Buzzo’. Yes, I named it. It will always be a special memory when I’d held him in my arms , wrapped him like a small baby and that’s when I knew I’d fallen in love . He wasn’t just an animal at my house , he was the most important part of my nuclear family .
I used to play, dance with him ,annoy and disturb him when he used to sleep . I mean, that’s what sibling goals are right? We ran after each other much better than the way lovers chase their crushes . They were the happiest moments of the year . Buzzo! Buzzo! Oh how obsessed we were with his name! I’ll probably never get to see a being that excited to see me when I’m home like he used to be . Same food everyday yet that happiness was so angelic and not complaining. Same route to walk to but that level of satisfaction to breathe in the outside air will always be unmatched .
Dear Buzzo, Jolly might not have spent as much time as you deserved, she might’ve been ignorant of your existence when you needed someone to stay with you but she really loves you and needs you around. Not a day passes by when she doesn’t miss how comfortable you were on her bed around her and wrapped in her blanket . She hasn’t forgotten how you woke her up from her slumber. You taught her what selfless love feels like . She owes you . An atheist but she prays that if there’s an afterlife, you are happy and the same kid with high spirits like you always used to be . Lots of love .
Life was pretty smooth until 26th May, 2019. None of your family friends were ready to keep a dog forcing us to keep our beloved in that dark dungeon or the so called ‘hostel’ for dogs . I wish I could hear his silence and understand what pain he was in. He usually barked when we used to leave him at some unknown place but this time he didn’t . It was all quiet. I wish I had known what I was about to face in a day or two. I wish I’d pick him up and talk to him in a language he’d understand so i could say that I’ll be back for him soon.
We left for our trip to Kerala the following day . He had high fever for an entire day. We wish we knew it. A day later we got a call while the veterinarian was checking and examining why he had been sleeping for more than usual. He was no more . How could we travel 1000 miles back to see our love in that lifeless state ? The careless veterinarian wouldn’t give the little sympathy that resided in him. We were shattered. We weren’t in his last moments and I’ll always blame the three of us for it . We could not be there to take him home but one of our family friends gave him a proper burial .
He was just 2 years old and I still feel guilty for leaving him in that darkness . He is long gone but I still feel his presence everywhere he used to be . I still remember the warmth of his hug . We couldn’t concentrate for months but we had to move on slowly knowing the fact that his spirit is still around us and that he wants us to smile. Everyone still thinks that I was the least affected member but I wish they’d jump inside my mind and look at the chaos I had inside. I’ve buried all of it since. I wanna capture all of those days when he and I used to smile together ,eat fruits and jump on beds together. I wish Buzzo were here so I’d sleep wrapped in his cosy fur telling him how much I love him . Buzzo wasn’t just a dog , he was everything I wanted what humans couldn’t provide me with emotionally and spiritually.
We kept his accessories as memories. His hair still resides on my clothes , his face is still crystal clear in my mind , the memories will never be forgotten.
He taught the three of us what true love is . It’s unconditional. He taught how even a dumb and silent talk could communicate. He is always going to be that one friend I’ve never regretted having with me . Two years’ member at my abode and lifetime of lessons he taught me. If I ever have a chance to spend my life with you I’d gladly give up on whatever the spirits tell me to leave.
I need your paws to hit me and wake up for I love existing in dreams and not reality. I want you to teach me what happiness in little things means and I want you to let me know how i must make amends for the wrong doings.
I dream of the times that are yet unknown To me and to the mankind Maybe I’m already dwelling in this ocean of dreams Stuck in that one layer of the deep The pseudo-world I built among the people Beneath the same blue sheet of canvas that wraps the Earth And over the same rock-solid crust Yet, wish to live this dream for eternity
I wish, I could touch every single particle Every reaction that explodes in you Maybe I’m this mythical creature Of a folk tale of an author or maybe of a bedtime story A myth that lives among the extra terrestrials in some parallel universe A cosmos with a different lifestyle An unreal world they reside in and a place I’d love to tour someday
I hope my feelings touch yours In a way that can be felt through telepathic connection Maybe you will apprehend and absorb my emotions These chemicals that my soul emits I’m still sleeping with eyes wide open Unable to wake up from this illusion Afterlife might be a reality, only my dark death can tell Maybe I’ll wake up to see the real me
Back when I was twelve and I used to look up at the vast blanket filled with shimmering stars One, two and three….. No, I wasn’t counting the number of stars but the number of my deceased loved ones The ones who were god’s favourites And turned themselves into the twinkling lights Do you remember? How we used to look up and wave at them With nothing but pure and jolly smiles?
Now that I’m seven-TEEN I look up at the sky to draw constellations And name the stars one by one , dot by dot The Roman Gods have given us a lot to identify How tiny yet gleaming golden and white they are! No I’m not talking about physical phenomena I’m just appreciating the gorgeous pearls that cover the dark blanket Filling up the null and void
Five years later I would be fighting for my own financial status I’ll be doing nothing but confront the over populated crowds who are fighting for the same position Would I even get the time to look up at sky? Nothing but the terrestrial ecosystems would matter to me I’ll be just like that small distant star that I once figured out in my childhood days Covered up by the superior living stars
I have been wandering since a decade now Who am I? Where is my birthplace? Do I even have an abode except this half- wounded caravan that I call ‘HOME’? Strolling by the lake all I could wonder was why I wander A group of five families struggling to survive We’re all peasants supplying pashmina and tallits that nurture our economy.
Who’s she who looks like me But is frolicking in a blue gown holding a big air bag floating up in the sky? Why are those beautiful looking people in pretty clothes but eating on a mat close to earth? I can see them on the other side of the valley cherishing their outing Are they pretending to unsee me? Maybe. Their voices echo as if the nature’s mimicking them Are they like me too?
The beautiful people came closer and bought a cloth for lump sum of money My eyes were stuck on the girl’s sweet countenance. As she grabbed my hand and asked me my name .“Tara”, I said. She chuckled and tied on my hair, a satin bow Waving at me Yes! How lovely she waved at me She and her birthgivers faded among the mist and fog The beautiful people were nowhere in sight But “her” innocence touched my heart.
What if I flew away from the reality and fell into deep slumber of my fantasy land? And get to know my freedom Would anyone dare to hold my hand And stay in this world far away from boredom?
What if I said it’s the world without the complicated minds and complexities? But only loving warm hearted humans. Would you grow with these ideal theories? Or would you still want that world suffused with perplexities?
Let’s say we could roam to places and welcome people as if our own family All of us enveloped in compassion and happiness. So would you still flee to your city from this verdant country? Or would you breath in the calm air and in the fresh promises of selflessness?
What if you have a surrounding to nurture you. Fill you with confidence and not demean you? Where you would work and grow with people not under them? I don’t think then you’ll think of the derogatory comments that the society lends you. Or would you want revenge in the vaguely competing world Would you love to be you covered with people who preach peace? Or with the fake preachers using weapons to create truce?
If I were to say the answer to describe who we are I’d probably say that we’re mere mortal souls filled with a collection of atoms Atoms consisting of uncontrollable sensations.
But are we that simple? Inside us are the heavenly realms The supernova explosions within that keep us from darkness and death Yes. A good explosion that jolts us back on track We’re all so gracefully carved and blooming everyday into a new version of us Then why not nurture all the thorns that cut us? Among all the tiring weird tales and confidential information, we always look out for the happiness that we store in our hearts. We’re all complex structures like the constellation of stars Easy to look for but hard to solve Most humans, fear death And some; they fear oblivion. But little do we know about our reunions in some alternate universe.
So what are we? We’re the transient heavenly bodies filled with atoms of complicated emotions with a soul that evolves beautifully if nurtured well or languishes if traumatized.
The destructive storm did pass Creating silent havoc in my soul
I’m joining all the pieces shattered One by one I’m building up all that was lost I fell , I woke I drowned my pain but later I spoke Counted the puzzle pieces that went missing Finding each bit of it I found HOPE Who am I in this giant world ? Trusting my instincts and believing in my faith ? I am the complex puzzle I’m solving I’m still here for the good No matter how long’s the wait My bruised mind and dead humanity rose back into game I healed the people who cut me and rose the people who love me But yet that sensitive puzzle piece is lost That once made me glad But now it’s all cuts and wounds Which I wish I never had…… I knew the truths but gave away I could’ve left but chose to stay
But the storm did pass And this is where I want to resolve me Get to know me, then wither away
Remember what we were like When we were five and six years old? When we talked about our toy cars and beautiful dolls And those times when we would keep talking nonsense but feel so proud about it? No one to judge us And even if they did “WHO CARES?” Yes those were the golden days When bags were lighter and minds were brighter When hearts were filled with joy and love And our smiles touching everyone’s heart( ◜‿◝ )♡
Remember when we talked about the superiority of males and females Without the knowledge of FEMINISM? When we laughed, made fun, fought and punched each other But came back as bros the very next day When happiness meant toys, crayons and favourite food And not people to make us smile When travelling meant “NAANI KE GHAR” And all the fantasy places? Yes those were the merry days I’m talking about…..
Remember the promises u made with friends? The ones who are no longer around you What if one day you start gossiping Talk endlessly about the ocean of memories you have about them? No, you wouldn’t stop talking…. But become a CHATTER BOX AGAIN!! You’ll embrace it, feel it as if you’re right there! Sometimes each one of us wish if school meant only about colouring and playing And life was simple and happy, where we trusted, were grateful for help done No grudges, no regrets….. YES, THOSE ARE THE NOSTALGIC DAYS OF PURE LOVE AND HAPPINESS :-))))
It was full moon and the galaxy of stars shone over us…. We all were talking about ‘LIFE’ We spoke about the bond all of us shared The aims we wanted to achieve And all the golden moments spent The pure happiness and laughter we gave to each other on the bright faces YES ! WE TALKED ABOUT LIFE……
We weren’t unhappy because we were about to separate and go with the flow along our dedicated paths But were rather glad that out of all the years with all the rough tides … We’re still together Wrapped around in each others’ arms, holding hands, singing songs and dancing around like drunk souls…
WE SPOKE ABOUT FRIENDSHIP…. We spoke about love and comfort The sense of gratefulness to ‘The Holy’ Yes! These are the people I can share my life with… Are we drenched in tears of sadness? No, we are drowning in affection and our innocent yet mischievous smiles are being lent to one another…
Oh! Can you feel the breeze? It was calm and cold We were not only wrapped around covered by blankets But also blessed with showers of compassion and truths Our lips turning into smiles Our eyes speaking so much more ‘How are you all real?’ We were sitting on the edge of a cliff OH YES! WE WERE TOGETHER TALKING ABOUT LIFE ( ◜‿◝ )♡
It was fall, The bright yellow, orange and red showered all over me And I beneath a tree admiring the enchanting view with love in my heart And desire in my soul singing out the melody Plucking the strings of the guitar My deep brown eyes met another pair of hazel shaded look Sitting beside me, the broad shouldered guy I am waiting for , to make an impossible return Yes, that’s the look and there’s that smile that damn smile And all I knew that I was singing a ballad Hallucinating or for real? Is he really so close, so near He touched my fingers as I plucked a string With maple leaves blessing us His cheeks brushing mine, yet I sang No he didn’t die, how could he!? He’s alive and as fresh as always Or is he just in my mind JUST IN MY HEAD? The wind blew stronger and my ballad ceased He faded away making me null and void Just like the maple left its trunk to wither I’m a dead trunk with no beauty Yet my heart cried out the beautiful words For my peaceful soul who’s resting in heaven
Expressions🥀✨ 